Got $$$?
The other day I took a trip to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts with some other parent volunteers from school. One of the parents talked about her husband. He is a pilot for a well known Minnesota airline. Right away I had a stereotype of what sort of life they must live...I was imagining a very large oversized home, European automobiles, vacations in Mexico and the Caribbean. She didn't have fancy name brand clothes on or even a flashy diamond ring, but still I thought, I'm sure she has it all.
As we were driving downtown we passed a billboard for BMW's..."UGH." She said. Ha! I chucked in my mind, she's about to tell us how she would hate to drive a beamer because I'm sure she's got an Audi or a Lexus at home. "What a waste of money on a car!" She started..."I mean how pretentious does one have to be to drive such a fancy beast...it's a car for Pete's sake."
Huh?
She stopped me in my tracks. Here I was trying to "label" her based on her husbands career. How I hate when the same happens to me (not the whole beamer thing...can't say that usually happens when they find out my husband is in the social work field) But I hate when I am instantly labeled for who I am and what I am about when someone knows nothing about me except maybe what I do and what my husband does.
Living out in the suburbs is interesting, I get on this topic all the time. I live in a fairly affluent area...luxury European cars are not unusual. Large oversized homes and garages with swimming pools is a common scene as well. The white picket fences with Rainbow playsystems can be seen in just about each and every development, including mine.
Recently at a parent meeting, a parent asked why we don't offer a breakfast program...the principal's response...why would we? This is not a "needy" neighborhood.
But our community is also known as a "dual-income" community. It is rare to see parents outside enjoying their yards and playsystems....homes sit empty much of the day and into the evening when parents are working. Working to make ends meet to pay the bills for all their "needs, wants and likes..."
When one parent gets laid off, the house is on the market within days...you see, they'd been working and pouring their hearts into this "house" that was not even a home.
It's sickening really. It's not hard to get caught up in the rat race of life...even myself, when I get frustrated about not having a deck yet. Or not having the basement finished. I just want. It done. Now.
I also want to go on a Caribbean cruise, visit Italy and spend a week in Florida. Annually.
But how do you do it?
You don't!
A reminder my husband gives me. (Often!) We are young...it takes a long time to have all the things you want and need. It takes a long time to be in a place where you can go on expensive vacations a couple times a year. It takes work. Commitment.
We live in a society of instant gratification. Our world tells us to buy now, pay later. Go on that vacation, you deserve it. Refinance the house so you can pay off your debt. Can't afford new furniture? No problem...Financing is always available.
The gimmicks they use are good. They trick you into believing that this is how life is meant to be.
Today, instead of thinking of all the things on my list of "wants" (an anniversary band, a deck, vacations...) and of how it's just "not fair", instead of sending hate mail to the ones who are having their cake and eating it too...I'm just going to be me, be happy with what I've got, because I've got it pretty good. We've got a nice home, nice cars...we're able to do many of the things we want to do. And my biggest plus is that I have the luxury or working part time, and doing the things my heart desires (writing, volunteering...)
One day to the next, one foot in front of the other...realizing there is more to life than this.
At the end of my life, I'd much rather have my family and my happiness then the pursuit of "things". Wouldn't you?
5 comments:
You know so many of the things you should know, don't buy unless you can pay for it, and if you can pay for it, will it cost you something else that you would like to have/need. It takes time, right now it is children in the home that is the priority. They won't remember that no deck off the back was such a need, and it won't much matter to them. Keep your own priorities and the rest will find a way. Remember how old you were on your first trip to FL? How about DC?
Luke 12:15. "And he(JESUS) said to them, Take heed and beware of covetousness; for the life of any man does not consist in the abundance of those things which he possesseth."
live life be content with the great times together.........love ya all daddio's
Hey, I might not have a beamer but I have a PT Cruiser! If you are quiet encough you can hear my fans saying, "look at the hot guy in the PT Cruiser, he must be a social worker."
Amen! We had a lot of discussion over this topic. So glad you took that step and posted. I agree with you. In today's society everything is spend, spend, spend, charge it, charge it, open more credit cards. That lifestyle is what gets a lot of people into financial trouble. What about purchasing your first home? I remember the realtor asking us "how much were you approved for?" I thought to myself, what we were approved for and what we CAN AFFORD are two completely different things. I too want to live within my means, and be comfortable with my lifestyle. That means being realistic. We're not all Oprah.
Happiness, Peace and Good Health are enough for me!
Great post Simplicity!
I agree 100%. Once credit card companies get you in debt, it is twice as hard to get out. If you think you are getting a good deal on a product, you usually end up paying double for it through credit. Don't open that department store credit
card to get the 10% off, unless you intend to pay off the credit card in the first month and never use it again. The way to get something that you want, is to save the money first and then buy it. This used to be called earning something. We now feel we are entitled to 'it all' because we see everyone else with 'it all'. You don't really have anything except debt.
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