Birthday Season

We have entered "Birthday Season" around here.

T turns 8 this next weekend (the 27th), so this last weekend of course we celebrated with our family at home. Friday we'll celebrate at school, that evening he'll celebrate with his mom and her family. Saturday we'll celebrate with his friend party, then that evening we'll take him out to dinner for his birthday dinner.

Anyone else wondering how much farther this will go on???

Birthdays have turned into week long celebrations. Not that I mind that. I LOVE birthdays, love celebrating the people I love and their magical number. But even I think the idea of four-five celebrations being excessive.

Last year his birthday was a whopper. We celebrated at Pump It Up with 25 of his friends. As I stood there watching his friends come in with huge packages and lots of energy, I asked him if he knew them all.

"Well...we all are in the same class." He said.

I pointed at a kid who's mom was running, eh I mean, leaving quickly. "Who's that?"

"Umm..that's one of the Jacobs"

Watching these energetic 6 and 7 year olds get dropped off while their parents scurried out the door was a moment of truth. If this is just his 7th birthday, how in the world will we ever manage to keep it up????

Reality kind of sunk in then that maybe, just maybe we're overdoing the whole birthday thing.

Birthdays are a monumental annual occasion in everyone’s life. From the time of birth until you are 100. Your day is celebrated. Don't get me wrong, I think the kids should celebrate with friends. I think they should have a good time and great memories made. But come on...

When I grew up (in the 80’s) my birthday parties were simple. One year we had kids over for a scavenger hunt and homemade cupcakes. Another year we did homemade pizzas and a slumber party. There were no favors. There were no outrageous gifts. It was plain and simple fun.

Today’s birthday parties are something else completely. From the handmade $2.50 invitations to the goody bags chalk full of what I like to call “garbage that lives in the van”. From the guest lists toppling 20 or 30 friends to the unnecessary overpriced gifts the friends come bearing. It is out of control.

Costs are skyrocketing as our “supersize it” culture keeps feeding their needs to “raise the bar” and make every experience an enriching one. The consequences are serious. Kids get stressed out, become overindulged and learn entitlement. Values become materialistic. Parents are stressed emotionally and financially to keep up with the “Joneses”. Our community’s are breeding a “me” generation.

Essentially we are setting our kids up for disappointment down the road...because it will never be enough. Something will always be better and we just can't keep up.

A group of St. Paul parents has joined together and formed the group, Birthdays Without Pressure. Their goal is to bring an end to the madness through awareness, communication and by offering alternatives.

Some of the alternatives include: Gift Free parties, no goody bags, No more themes, Every other year parties.

I love the idea of gift free parties, in fact Saturday T's friends were asked to bring something for a children's charity instead of something for him.

I love the no goody bags, like I said earlier..."Garbage that lives in the van" (there are also no goody bags this Saturday...isn't coming to the party enough???)

Themes, Schmemes...

And the idea of every other year parties is great...once they reach a certain age.

I think parents need to take control, whip their kids (no, not figuratively) and expectations into shape.

Who are you doing the party for??? You??? The Joneses????? Your kid!

Kids find joy in the simplest things in life, why make it complicated by needing to fuel your bigger, better, competitive streak. Because really...there gets to be a point when you know you're only trying to outdo, overspend, make the most memorable party ever.

So even though our birthday celebrations around here turn into seasons, coasting from one celebration to the next....we're going to tame it all down a bit.

Birthdays without pressure...Can I get an Amen!