Play Date Etiquette

Recently the Star Tribune had a couple tidbits about playdates. The dos and don'ts of how to have successful playdates. I found them interesting.

Some self explanatory, others not so much. But interesting none the less.

I'm pretty open to trying any playdate at least once. Even if the kid seems wild. Even if the parents seem, can I say a little wacked? We'll try just about anyone at least once. And a lot of times I'll give them a second chance too.

I love when the kids come home from school with little scrap pieces of paper and phone numbers scrawled on them in almost indecipherable handwriting.

Love listening to their conversations on the phone with friends as they try to figure it out.

"Umm, it's T."

Long pause.

"Can Joe come over?"

Long pause.

"Ok."

Hangs up.

Silence.

Me: "So what's the plan T?"

T: "Umm, I'm not sure. I can't remember if we're picking him up or what."

I then have to call and find out the plan.

I don't know why, but even though I'm a pretty outgoing person I always get nervous about making that first parent call. I used to think it's because I'm the "evil stepmother" and once I start making the calls for H I won't be so nervous? But I don't know. It's almost like dating...you're saying, my kid likes yours, can they play?

Do our kids mesh well enough to play?

Do we mesh well enough to chat while they play?

Maybe become "mom" friends?

Or will we be strictly "playdate" friends ONLY?

I have had a few (hundred) playdates...and believe me there are some things that you will never be prepared for.

Like....

• The time I had to bring five PB&J sandwiches to a playdate because the home the kids were invited to was "out" of Peanut Butter so she wanted me to bring lunch for all.

• The time a guest was being disrespectful and not listening and then threw something at me when I asked him to stop.

• The many summer days where we've had guests from 8am until after dinner, feeding them breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks.

• The times I've had parents look at me, see that I am young and then start talking LOUD and SLOW like I may not understand what they are saying. "Make sure the kids wear SEATBELTS..." They'll say. "Seatbelts?" I'd LOVE to say "We don't believe in those, kind of like we don't believe in helmets." OY! I may be young and blonde, but I am anything but dumb.

• The times I've had the kids invite friends over from school and the parents say ok without meeting or talking to J or I. I always wonder, how does one let their child go to a strangers house without even talking to the parents????

• The times I've had parents show up to get their children hours after we agreed. Or the kids dropped off from playdates later than planned.

• The time I had a guest digging in my fridge for a snack and then asking me to pack up some carrots and cucumbers for him to bring home.

• The times the kids have come home from playdates and given us great reports of what REALLY goes on at Susie's house.

• The time a guest of T's decided that he wanted to play with M instead.

• The time I had a parent interoggate me about what we'd be serving at the birthday party because her son is severely allergic to peanuts. When I went out of my way to make sure that nothing served would have peanuts or come in contact with peanuts, she ended up packing her son his own cupcake.

• The time a guest asked if he could spend the night. I said no. He then told his mom I said yes. When I told the mom I said no, she proceeded to tell me how nice it'd be if he could just stay the night since they have plans.

• The times the kids have called and invited friends over, only for the friends parents to turn the invitation around and now the kids are going to someone elses house.

• The times our basement has been turned inside out, with each and every toy we own thrown about the floor and the guest refuses to help clean up.

I can't say I've seen it all by any means but I've had my share.

While I am no expert at playdates, I'm not a rookie anymore either. But by the time H starts having playdates, I'm pretty darn sure I'll be an expert.

But I suppose by then all this etiquette may be out the window.

Maybe we'll be texting our playdate plans.

Or doing virtual reality playdates.