Less Than Perfect Parenting

I've said before that every parent in that goo-goo, ga ga sort of way thinks that their child is the smartest, the cutest, the best baby that has ever been on earth.

And I even admitted to not quite understanding that until I had H.

I get it, I really do.

But. This is what I'm getting tired of.

People who are afraid to be honest about their baby (or children) for fear that people might think that you have less-than-perfect children.

Or those other people who are doing everything exactly-right and just know everything about raising children. (Nevermind that their only child is only three months old, they in fact do know it all.)

"Why yes of course, Charlie was sleeping through the night at two weeks old. Yeah he's always been such a good sleeping baby."

"Anjelica only eats homemade Organic fruits and veggies. Nothing pre-packaged."

"Not only does he wave and play peek a boo, but he also says Hello and Goodbye in English, Spanish and French. Not bad for ten months old is it?"

So maybe those are some exaggerations of actual things parents say, but truth be told I'm getting sick of this little exercise.

Let's face it. As a parent, your child is honestly perfect in your eyes. That isn't going to change.
But you don't need to prove that to everyone else.

Last spring and summer were pretty brutal for H and me. He was born at the beginning of baseball season, Jeff was a baseball coach for T's team. We had baseball every Tuesday and Thursday. While I didn't have to be at every game or practice, I tried to be. For whatever reason, H could be just fine all day long on walks to the park, trips to Target or grandmas, but as soon as we'd arrive at the baseball field the child would cry. And cry. And cry some more. Which in turn would lead my postpartum-hormonal self almost to tears.

When soccer started for M about six weeks later, I hoped for a new-improved baby attitude at soccer. Again, no such luck. He obviously didn't like us paying attention to his siblings.

I had it down so that I would feed him immediately before going (because at this time, I was still quite shy about feeding him in public, though by the time I weaned him I could have nursed him anywhere, anytime with anyone around) and I would hope that my infant would sleep through the evening activities. He didn't.

And I remember wondering, why the heck do I care? He's a baby, babies cry, it's their job. They don't always do exactly what we parents want them to do. I would wonder, why are all these others staring at me like I'm doing something wrong? Obviously they have children, their kids I'm sure cried as babies?

But, I was embarrassed.
Of my own newborn son's crying.
Because I thought, other parents would think that I didn't have a 'perfect' baby.

So stupid right? No more.

So in the spirit of not allowing others to make me feel bad about my child and the way we're raising him, here are a few of my confessions:

• I only breastfed H until he was 8 months old. From the time he was two months old he was having at least one bottle of Similac Soy formula a day.



• I really, really, really didn't like spoon feeding H. Ok, the first feedings were cool, after that, I really wanted him to feed himself.



• Thus, I am loving the fact that he can eat waffles for breakfast and chicken for lunch. Obviously cut into small pieces.



• Sometimes H wakes up in the middle of the night.

• Most of the time after H is done eating, I don't immediately sweep under his high chair. I usually let him crawl around and eat his crumbs as he feels like it. I think our kitchen floor is pretty clean.

• If it is 4am or later and H wakes up, I will usually bring him into bed with me.

• I did not make all of my own baby food. We invested in a lot of Gerber packs.

• There have been times that I have needed to take a shower that I have either put him in his crib or high chair (obviously buckled in) so I could have five minutes of peace.

• When we go to Target or any other stores where there are t.v.'s throughout the store, H is fascinated. He is obsessed with televisions. I wish I could say he was obsessed with the alphabet or songs, even Elmo but nope, he's got t.v.'s on the brain. (Interesting considering he's seen probably less than 30 minutes of tv in his life so far?)

• If he cries going down for a nap, I let him cry it out for a good 15 minutes before I go in.

• Though he's not even a year old he's already had chocolate, ice cream, yogurt and whole milk.

• I sent out Evites for his first birthday party. I am still in shock myself.



• He didn't have a wipe warmer and we've never warmed up his bottles.

And how about some confessions about T and M:

• We let them play in McDonald's (and other fast food restaurant) playlands. I know how germy places like this are, but they have a great time. And it's a great way for us to unwind.

• There have been times the sole purpose in going to McDonalds is to play in the playland. I'll buy the kids an ice cream cone and them let them play for an hour or two. Believe me, on a rainy day when you know they've got stored energy, you would do the same.

• M loves Sponge Bob Square Pants. Loves is an understatement. She is obsessed. She would watch it all day every day if we let her.

• I have snuck candy from their Halloween bags and Easter baskets every year.



• T finds it nearly impossible to match his clothes. We only tell him if we're going somewhere important, but he's started to ask if he matches or not.

• I have raised my voice (some call that yelling) More than once. And I have a feeling I'll do it again. You always say you won't, but in the heat of a frustrating moment, you do.

• Both kids are obsessed with fairness. And even though we try to teach them that life isn't fair, we try to at all costs keep things completely fair to avoid the arguing and issues that come from it.

• We let them have pop on Sundays.

• They both fight like cats and dogs.

• We rarely review T's spelling words with him. We mean to, but rarely get to it. However he typically gets them all right.

• There has been at least one occasion that the kids and I were going to pick up lunch somewhere and because they couldn't agree on where we would pick up lunch, I went to TWO different places to get lunch. Yes I know this is bad. Yes I know I should just pick. But I was so exhausted I couldn't argue.

• Even though M is six years old, she recently, very recently, threw a complete tantrum. Her place of choice, the pediatricians office.

I'm sure there are lots and lots and lots more things we are doing 'wrong' or that make us and our children, less than perfect. But you know what? I'm ok with that.

We are happy.
Healthy.
Normal.
And I'd take a normal family life over 'perfect' any day.

So here's to less than perfect parenting.

"We all suffer from the preoccupation that there exists... in the loved one, perfection." -- Sidney Poitier